Write for Sweary Mommy; all the cool kids are doin’ it. — Are you a parent — of humans, pets, sentient LEGO men, and/or plants? And/or are you Kristine Laco? Write something for my pub, please. Teachers, caregivers of all stripes, and grandparents are welcome, too. ORIGIN STORY: This pub was created because a lot of people have Kool-Aid Manned out of…

And How I’m Distracting Myself — I never was much for suspense, so I’ll get right to it: there’s a new lump in my boobie. Joe found it while we were lying in bed, semi-consciously groping each other in the manner of tired parents everywhere. Call him a sentinel spouse. Joe’s handsy “exams” are probably my…

Sending Two Sons Off to College and Our Littlest to Transitional Kindergarten — All in One, Bittersweet Swoop — “Something told the wild geese It was time to go. Though the fields lay golden, Something whispered — ‘snow.’” -Rachel Field, in: “Something Told the Wild Geese” [external link; National Poetry Day] It was the best of cries, it was the ugliest of cries. Wes, our secondborn, left for college…

Plus, A New Goldfish Species Invades the Waterway — My family is full of freaks who do water sports en masse — even holding our own triathlon. It’s in our circuitry. I’m proud of our decades-old traditions. …

Or Daddy, or Nonbinary Parent — I’ll cut to the chase: there’s a buttload of stuff happening in my silly little life. I need help with the care and keeping of this fledgling publication, Sweary Mommy. After all, good parents know when to ask for support. “But Lindy,” you may say. “I’m a writer. I, too…

The Carnival Barker’s Science Behind Your Readers’ Attentions — Did you know that taking pictures of your own butt is harder than winning one of those quarters games at a theme park? I learned that firsthand today — along with the fact that there’s a kitchen table version of that theme-park quarter-toss game. …

It’s a cliché, but don’t stop your wooing — “Light, so low upon earth, You send a flash to the sun. Here is the golden close of love, All my wooing is done.” Alfred, Lord Tennyson, in: Marriage Morning (1871) We met on the pool deck — a cement wonderland. The deck itself surrounded an aging pool with a…

And what are the implications, if so? — “Mommmm, where’s my Karate belt?!” “Lindy, where are my gray work jeans that were in the middle of the folded clothes pile three days ago?” “Don’t forget, it’s Aunt Rocky’s birthday today!” “How did you know my frog Squishmallow was underneath the third row of Dad’s car, Ma?” A good…

What’s wrong with a little profanity and other “objectionable” content? — Do you like playing with Redbubble? By golly, I sure do. Redbubble.com is the freelance visual artist’s version of Medium.com [external link]. You can upload your indie art there and stick it on some shit — and people will pay real pennies to order it. …